An afternoon insight

Today I was listening to a Lata Mangeshkar CD and one of my favourite numbers was playing. The melody of the song, Lata’s smooth golden voice scaling the heights, laden with emotion, the lyrics and the bansuri-vaadan never fails to bring tears to my eyes and send me into raptures. ‘Agar tum ho sagar, main pyaasi nadi hoon’, how else can the Lord be described but as an infinite ocean and our longing like that of a thirsty river seeking to be one with the oceanic vastness. ‘Agar tum ho saawan, main jalti kali hoon’, when our minds burn with the fire of ignorance then the grace of the Lord like the monsoon, rains down and washes away the soot and the dirt.

Tumhein dekhti hoon ...


Great music has that alchemic effect on us. When the notes rise in perfect cadences, our mind drops and in the ensuing stillness, the music seems to rise and reverberate within us. We are aware only of oneness as barriers vanish. We become one with the music, one with all, one with the universe.

Nature had a similar effect. Lying on the grass under a tree, looking up at the sky through the lattice of leaves, the warm earth pulsating beneath ..... Or standing outside in the night looking up at the moon, the sky scattered with stars, the universe stretching out into infinity, we get a glimpse of our own magnificence, our mind-made barriers drop, our concepts vanish and we feel our own essence, our infinitude, our oneness with the whole.

Introduce a human being into this scene, may it be anyone, a spouse, parent, child, close friend and instantaneously the mind jumps up, puts up barriers of concepts. We step into our roles, our self-made cages, we become separate, we and the other. The mind starts humming out rules, codes, expectations, desires... In an instant, the world closes in, we become bodies with minds, oneness slips away, the glimpse of our soul is lost.

It takes diligence to remain in the world and still hold on to the knowledge that we are the soul. Anything that aids in dropping the mind should be pursued. Music. Being in nature. Any activity that requires focus and is done with love and at the same time gives immense joy. Watching a baby. Watching a flower. Ceasing from mindless, needless and endless activity. Solitude. Being in silence, not only verbal but stilling the mind too. Being in Being, being in the soul, in oneness, in bliss is the only treasure worth seeking.......

Effortlessness

It seems to me that the best way to live is effortlessly. Look at us, how much we strain and stress at living, while look at the grass, how effortlessly it shoots forth from the ground. Or the flower, it strains not to bloom from bud to blossom. Least of all we should put no effort into our spiritual quest. Without effort, with only the strength of pure intention, our illusions will vanish, our ignorance will turn into insight, and just like the blooming of a flower, the flower of our soul will emerge, effortlessly, unravelling its luminous petals.

Effort belongs to the realm of the mind, how can a mind that wrestles with itself uncover the soul. The soul is beyond mind. The soul can be realised only when the mind is put away, without effort, like one would calmly put away winter clothes when spring has arrived :) We do not fight off the clothes, do we?

In our quest only intention is needed, pure unwavering intention. And stillness. In silence, in the absence of the mind, the supreme soul reveals itself. It has no other choice :)))

I am not I

Poems by Nobel Laureate Juan Ramon Jimenez

I Took Off Petal After Petal

I took off petal after petal, as if you were a rose,
in order to see your soul,
and I didn’t see it.

However, everything around—
horizons of fields and oceans—
everything, even what was infinite,
was filled with a perfume,
immense and living.

Full Moon

The door is open.
the cricket is singing.
Are you going around naked
in the fields?

Like an immortal water,
going in and out of everything.
Are you going around naked
in the air?

The basil is not asleep.
the ant is busy.
Are you going around naked
in the house?

I Am Not I

I am not I.
I am this one
Walking beside me whom I do not see.
Whom at times I manage to visit,
And at other times I forget.
The one who remains silent when I talk,
The one who forgives, sweet, when I hate,
The one who takes a walk when I am indoors,
The one who will remain standing when I die.

(I like the above the best :)))

Song offerings ...

---- selected poems from Gitanjali by Rabindranath Tagore -----

Clouds heap upon clouds and it darkens.
Ah, love, why dost thou let me wait outside at the door all alone?

In the busy moments of the noontide work I am with the crowd, but on this dark lonely day it is only for thee that I hope.

If thou showest me not thy face, if thou leavest me wholly aside, I know not how I am to pass these long, rainy hours.

I keep gazing on the far-away gloom of the sky,and my heart wanders wailing with the restless wind.

~~~~~
I came out alone on my way to my tryst. But who is this that follows me in the silent dark?

I move aside to avoid his presence but I escape him not.

He makes the dust rise from the earth with his swagger; he adds his loud voice to every word that I utter.

He is my own little self, my lord, he knows no shame; but I am ashamed to come to your door in his company.

~~~~~~

If thou speakest not I will fill my heart with thy silence and endure it. I will keep still and wait like the night with starry vigil and its head bent low with patience.

The morning will surely come, the darkness will vanish, and thy voice pour down in golden streams breaking through the sky.

Then thy words will take wing in songs from every one of my birds' nests, and thy melodies will br forth in flowers in all my forest groves.

~~~~~~~~~

Leave this chanting and singing and telling of beads! Whom dost thou worship in this lonely dark corner of a temple with doors all shut? Open thine eyes and see thy God is not before thee!

He is there where the tiller is tilling the hard ground and where the pathmaker is breaking stones. He is with them in sun and in shower, and his garment is covered with dust. Put of thy holy mantle and even like him come down on the dusty soil!

Deliverance? Where is this deliverance to be found? Our master himself has joyfully taken upon him the bonds of creation; he is bound with us all for ever.

Come out of thy meditations and leave aside thy flowers and incense! What harm is there if thy clothes become tattered and stained? Meet him and stand by him in toil and in sweat of thy brow.

Strength

--- extract from the Gospel of Strength by Swami Vivekanand ---

First step in getting strength is to uphold the Upanishads, and believe -
“I am the soul,”
“Me the sword cannot cut;
nor weapons pierce;
me the fire cannot burn;
me the air cannot dry;
I am the Omnipotent, I am the Omniscient.”
So repeat these blessed saving words and be strong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You must know what you are , what your real nature is. You must become conscious of that infinite nature within. Then your bondage will burst.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Think all of you that you are the infinitely powerful Atman, and see what strength comes out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Knowledge is power,” says the proverb, does it not? It is through knowledge that power comes. Man has got to know that he is a man of infinite power and strength. Really he himself is by his own nature potent and omniscient. And this he must know. And the more he becomes conscious of his own Self, the more he manifests this power, and his bonds break and at last he becomes free.

-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The soul was never born and will never die, and all these ideas that we are going to die and are afraid to die are mere superstitions. And all such ideas as we can do this or cannot do that are superstitions. We can do everything. The Vedanta teaches men to have faith in themselves first... Not believing the glory of our own soul is what the Vedanta calls atheism. To many this is, no doubt, a terrible idea; and most of us think that this ideal can never be reached; but the Vedanta insists that it can be realised by everyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Always talk and hear and reason about this Atman. By continuing to practice in this way, you will find in time that the Lion (Brahman) will wake up in you too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The self within is always shining forth resplendent. Turning away from that people say, “I”, “I”, “I”, with their attention held up by this material body, this queer cage of flesh and bones. This is the root cause of all weakness.

-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hear day and night that you are that Soul. Repeat it to yourselves day and night till it enters into your very veins, till it tingles in every drop of blood, till it is in your flesh and bone. Let the whole body be full of that one ideal, “I am the birthless, the deathless, the blissful, the omniscient, the omnipotent, ever-glorious Soul.” Think on it day and night; think on it till it becomes part and parcel of your life. Meditate upon it... All your actions will be magnified, transformed, deified, by the very power of the thought. If matter is powerful, thought is omnipotent. Bring this thought to bear upon your life, fill yourselves with the thought of your almightiness, your majesty and your glory.

- Swami Vivekanand

The hidden world

It's such a waste really, this whole business of living, so superfluous, so meaningless. This hankering after worldly things, for material pleasures, this running away from so-called pain. So completely are we hypnotised, so inextricable is our conditioning, so vicious is its grip on our psyche that we do not even think to look for anything else. For a different reality, for a more luminous possibility, for a truth so bright, for a self that is infinitely bigger than what we think it to be. For a vastness that contains everything, everything that we seek - love, peace, bliss. No, we do not seek these, we go only for the shiny glass pieces mistaking them for real gems while all the time it waits, in silence, in patience, for a shifting of our awareness. We get glimpses of this world, of this ineffable joy in brief, fleeting moments that we seek to grasp but pass too quickly. And so it waits, for us to shake off our hypnotic sleep and wake to reality, to truly live, to be truly ourselves…

Hope ...

Hope clings
as leaves
to the tips of trees -
bare-limbed
and shorn by autumn.

Hope floats,
buoys, uplifts
a heart
almost drowning,
gives it sails.

Hope flies
on the gossamer tip of
a dragonfly wing,
ethereal
yet enduring.

Hope rises
eternally,
every morning
as the sun,
even after the blackest night.

Hope triumphs
over despair
always,
every time.
It cannot be otherwise.

Hope flows
like a river
in search of the sea,
like a soul
in search of the source.

I am...

The Universe has
no purpose,
no direction,
no meaning,
it just IS...

It is our mind that seeks
purpose,
direction,
meaning,
where none exists...

If you ask a realised beggar,
"don't you want to be better off,
become something else?"
He would say,
"Why, what is wrong with me?
why change?
I already am.
Can't you see?
This being is immutable,
ageless,
can't be lost,
nor stolen,
not taken away.
I am Being.
I AM."

Do you know?

Do you realise that if you had all the wealth you ever wanted, all the love (from others) that you ever desired, all the pleasures, comforts, success, fame, glory that you could want - in spite of this apparent abundance - after a while you'll begin to feel the presence of a void, a deep longing. And you will rush to fill that void with more wealth, love, success, fame, but it will never be enough.

Have you stopped to consider why it is never enough?

Life

The following are selected verses from Emily Dickinson's collection titled 'Life'.

SUCCESS is counted sweetest
By those who ne’er succeed.
To comprehend a nectar
Requires sorest need.

Not one of all the purple host
Who took the flag to-day
Can tell the definition,
So clear, of victory,

As he, defeated, dying,
On whose forbidden ear
The distant strains of triumph
Break, agonized and clear.

~~~~~~~~~~~

MUCH madness is divinest sense
To a discerning eye;
Much sense the starkest madness.
’T is the majority
In this, as all, prevails.
Assent, and you are sane;
Demur,—you ’re straightway dangerous,
And handled with a chain.

~~~~~~~~~

THE SOUL selects her own society,
Then shuts the door;
On her divine majority
Obtrude no more.

Unmoved, she notes the chariot’s pausing
At her low gate;
Unmoved, an emperor is kneeling
Upon her mat.

I’ve known her from an ample nation
Choose one;
Then close the valves of her attention
Like stone.

~~~~~~

I’m nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there’s a pair of us—don’t tell!
They ’d banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody! 5
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

- Emily Dickinson

Ode Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood

I

There was a time when meadow, grove, and stream,

The earth, and every common sight,

To me did seem

Apparelled in celestial light,

The glory and the freshness of a dream.

It is not now as it hath been of yore;-

Turn whereso'er I may,

By night or day,

The things which I have seen I now can see no more.

II

The rainbow comes and goes,

And lovely is the rose,

The Moon doth with delight

Look round her when the heavens are bare;

Waters on a starry night

Are beautiful and fair;

The sunshine is a glorious birth;

But yet I know, where'er I go,

That there hath past away a glory from the earth.

III

Now, while the birds thus sing a joyous song,

And while the young lambs bound

As to the tabor's sound,

To me alone there came a thought of grief:

A timely utterance gave that thought relief,

And I again am strong:

The cataracts blow their trumpets from the steep;

No more shall grief of mine the season wrong;

I hear the echoes through the mountains throng,

The winds come to me from the fields of sleep,

And all the earth is gay;

Land and sea

Give themselves up to jollity,

And with the heart of May

Doth every beast keep holiday;-

Thou Child of Joy,

Shout round me, let me hear thy shouts, thou happy Shepherd-boy!

IV

Ye blessed Creatures, I have heard the call

Ye to each other make; I see

The heavens laugh with you in your jubilee;

My heart is at your festival,

My head hath its coronal,

The fullness of your bliss, I feel - I feel it all.

O evil day! if I were sullen

While Earth herself is adorning,

This sweet May-morning,

And the Children are culling

On every side,

In a thousand valleys far and wide,

Fresh flowers; while the sun shines warm,

And the Babe leaps up on his Mother's arm:-

I hear, I hear, with joy I hear!

- But there's a Tree, of many, one,

A single field which I have looked upon,

Both of them speak of something that is gone:

The pansy at my feet

Doth the same tale repeat:

Whither is fled the visionary gleam?

Where is it now, the glory and the dream?

V

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:

The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,

Hath had elsewhere its setting,

And cometh from afar:

Not in entire forgetfulness,

And not in utter nakedness,

But trailing clouds of glory do we come

From God, who is our home:

Heaven lies about us in our infancy!

Shades of the prison-house begin to close

Upon the growing Boy,

But he beholds the light, and whence it flows,

He sees it in his joy;

The Youth, who daily farther from the east

Must travel, still is Nature's Priest,

And by the vision splendid

Is on his way attended;

At length the Man perceives it die away,

And fade into the light of common day.

VI

Earth fills her lap with pleasures of her own;

Yearnings she hath in her own natural kind;

And, even with something of a mother's mind,

And no unworthy aim,

The homely nurse doth all she can

To make her Foster-child, her inmate Man,

Forget the glories he hath known,

And that imperial palace whence he came.

VII

Behold the Child among his new-born blisses,

A six years' darling of pigmy size!

See, where 'mid work of his own hand he lies,

Fretted by sallies of his mother's kisses,

With light upon him from his father's eyes!

See, at his feet, some little plan or chart,

Some fragment from his dream of human life,

Shaped by himself with newly-learnèd art;

A wedding or a festival,

A mourning or a funeral;

And this hath now his heart,

And unto this he frames his song:

Then will he fit his tongue

To dialogues of business, love, or strife;

But it will not be long

Ere this be thrown aside,

And with new joy and pride

The little actor cons another part;

Filling from time to time his 'humorous stage'

With all the Persons, down to palsied Age,

That Life brings with her in her equipage;

As if his whole vocation

Were endless imitation.

VIII

Thou, whose exterior semblance doth belie

Thy Soul's immensity;

Thou best philosopher, who yet dost keep

Thy heritage, thou eye among the blind,

That, deaf and silent, read'st the eternal deep,

Haunted for ever by the eternal mind,-

Mighty Prophet! Seer blest!

On whom those truths do rest,

Which we are toiling all our lives to find,

In darkness lost, the darkness of the grave;

Thou, over whom thy Immortality

Broods like the Day, a master o'er a slave,

A presence which is not to be put by;

To whom the grave

Is but a lonely bed without the sense or sight

Of day or the warm light,

A place of thought where we in waiting lie;

Thou little Child, yet glorious in the might

Of heaven-born freedom on thy being's height,

Why with such earnest pains dost thou provoke

The years to bring the inevitable yoke,

Thus blindly with thy blessedness at strife?

Full soon thy soul shall have her earthly freight,

And custom lie upon thee with a weight,

Heavy as frost, and deep almost as life!

IX

O joy! that in our embers

Is something that doth live,

That nature yet remembers

What was so fugitive!

The thought of our past years in me doth breed

Perpetual benediction: not indeed

For that which is most worthy to be blest -

Delight and liberty, the simple creed

Of childhood, whether busy or at rest,

With new-fledged hope still fluttering in his breast:-

Not for these I raise

The song of thanks and praise;

But for those obstinate questionings

Of sense and outward things,

Fallings from us, vanishings;

Blank misgivings of a Creature

Moving about in worlds not realised,

High instincts before which our mortal Nature

Did tremble like a guilty thing surprised:

But for those first affections,

Those shadowy recollections,

Which, be they what they may,

Are yet the fountain-light of all our day,

Are yet a master-light of all our seeing;

Uphold us, cherish, and have power to make

Our noisy years seem moments in the being

Of the eternal Silence; truths that wake,

To perish never:

Which neither listlessness, nor mad endeavour,

Nor Man nor Boy,

Nor all that is at enmity with joy,

Can utterly abolish or destroy!

Hence in a season of calm weather

Though inland far we be,

Our souls have sight of that immortal sea

Which brought us hither,

Can in a moment travel thither,

And see the children sport upon the shore,

And hear the mighty waters rolling evermore.

X

Then sing, ye birds, sing, sing a joyous song!

And let the young lambs bound

As to the tabor's sound!

We in thought will join your throng,

Ye that pipe and ye that play,

Ye that through your hearts to-day,

Feel the gladness of the May!

What though the radiance which was once so bright

Be now for ever taken from my sight,

Though nothing can bring back the hour

Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;

We will grieve not, rather find

Strength in what remains behind;

In the primal sympathy

Which having been must ever be;

In the soothing thoughts that spring

Out of human suffering;

In the faith that looks through death,

In years that bring the philosophic mind.

XI

And O, ye Fountains, Meadows, Hills, and Groves,

Forebode not any severing of our loves!

Yet in my heart of hearts I feel your might;

I only have relinquished one delight

To live beneath your more habitual sway.

I love the brooks which down their channels fret,

Even more than when I tripped lightly as they;

The innocent brightness of a new-born Day

Is lovely yet;

The clouds that gather round the setting sun

Do take a sober colouring from an eye

That hath kept watch o'er man's mortality;

Another race hath been, and other palms are won.

Thanks to the human heart by which we live,

Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears,

To me the meanest flower that blows can give

Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears. - William Wordsworth

The only desire ...

There is only one desire worth having, the desire to merge with the Lord.
It is not a desire even, it’s more like heeding the call after ignoring it for ages,
like a flowing towards the Source,
like an awakening into a wondrous world, where joy and bliss abound.
All other desires lead to attachment and end in pain....

More wisdom ...

Sadguru says -

• The very experience of Life is only in the depth of your involvement. Have you noticed whatever you did with involvement has always been a joy?
  
  
• Enlightenment does not mean Everyone becomes one way. Enlightenment means Everyone becomes their Own way. That is the beauty of it!
  
  
• "God Loves you" is not significant. If you are in such a way that everybody cannot help but fall in love with you - now, that is Great!
  
  
• Compassion is not an attitude of kindness but an instrument of unprejudiced involvement. All inclusive passion is true compassion.
  
  
• The very source of creation is throbbing within you. You ignored it for a lifetime - can there be a worse crime?
  
  
• To abuse somebody who abuses you, You do not need any awareness But in order to remain quiet, YOU need enormous awareness.
  
  
• As long as you live, living as a complete human being is what you owe to yourself and to the people around You.
  
  
• Whether you plan to go to the mountain or to the moon, you can start your journey from the seat in which you are sitting right now.
  
  
• Awareness is aliveness. How aware you are, is how alive you are.
  
  
• Spirituality is not something you do. If you stop all your nonsense, you are spiritual. Spirituality is ultimate sense.
  
  
• When you are torn by the pain of ignorance.... then the Master arrives.
  
  
• When you don't know what to choose, just show total involvement in everything you have. Then life will choose and it is never wrong.
  
  
• Human life becomes beautiful not because we do the right things. human life becomes beautiful because we put our heart into what we are doing.
  
  
• Every activity you perform has to become .... simply an offering. Only when everything becomes just an offering then karma has no bondage.
  
  
• If you have found one person with whom you can trust your life, you are very fortunate. many people do not even find that one person.
  
  
• Basic problem with humanity is that everyone wants to be special. Only when you become ordinary like a tree, can a greater dimension of life open up to you.
  
  
• If tears of love, joy ecstasy have not washed your cheeks, you are yet to taste Life.

Wisdom

Sadguru Jaggi Vasudev says -

• Gratitude is not an Attitude. It is something that flows out of you when you are overwhelmed by what is being given to You.
  
  
• Being Alive is not a small thing, it is the greatest phenomenon, not just on the planet but in the whole of the cosmos.
  
  
• Unless you are free from the Process of your own Mind, unless you are free from the Process of your own Body, there is really no such thing as Freedom.
  
  
• Enlightenment need not always happen with a Bang, it can happen quietly, it can be like a flower blossoming.
  
  
• If you think, you are big... You become Small. If you KNOW you are nothing, you become Unlimited. That is the beauty of being a human being.
  
  
• If Desire is a conscious process, then there is no problem. But now that you have lost your awareness and it has become a compulsion, you are a slave to your desire.
  
  
• If you are left out of the mad compulsiveness of society, you must be really blessed. You are not Excluded, you are Included into Life.
  
  
• When unpleasant things happen in our Life, either we can become wise or wounded. This is a choice every human has.
  
  
• Do not try to be in this moment. If you are totally involved with what you are doing right now, you can only be in this moment.Where else can you be?
  
  
• Where there is just teaching, there is adoration, there is worship. Only where there is method, there will be transformation.
  
  
• Your one and only Problem and the very basis of your misery is that life is not happening the way you think it should happen.
  
  
• Once you have an inkling of the immensity of Life, once you see how small and insignificant you are, you become receptivity itself.
  
  
• Either it takes enormous Intelligence or it takes enormous Trust. These are the only two ways one can grow without struggle.
  
  
• If you get too enamoured with your own creation, then you miss the Creator's creation!

Peace

It's one of those moments when in a quiet moment, all of a sudden I feel completely happy and at peace. For no reason whatsoever. Everything burdensome just drops off and there is a feeling of lightness and joy. It happens sometimes, the mind after a prolonged period of turning and churning, and frothing at the mouth :) feels exhausted from its own exertions and lies down for a rest. It literally drops off and we are then in a place of no-mind. Our natural state. In which joy, love, peace, bliss all exist already.

So then why are we seeking for what we carry within us all the time? Why are we looking for reasons to be happy, for external means to be happy? Why do we say if such and such condition is fulfilled, then I shall be happy? When it is all there, all the time, already. Such foolishness. Such is the power of the mind, of illusions. Such is the tragedy of the human condition.

But there is hope. Because once in a while, the illusions drop off and we see things clearly as they really are. We see the shining truth. And we know that it is there even if it then gets hidden.

Fall into me

When life cracks wide open
and pain sits on the edges,
and you plunge in headlong free-fall,
come, fall into me.

Bloodied, bruised and broken,
while you look for footholds,
among the broken pieces,
come, fall into me.

When you clear away the pieces
and seek to start anew,
take my strength, my sinew,
and come, fall into me.

Drop your fear, your sorrow,
into the deep cave of my silence,
lose yourself in vastness,
come, fall into me.

Saturday soliloquy

There came a time sometime last week when I had what can be called a transformative moment, a major life-shift moment. I suddenly felt myself to be utterly and completely alone. All the things in my life that had up until then contributed to making my life meaningful suddenly seemed to either have deserted me or to be utterly meaningless. I must admit that in the face of this total aloneness I crumbled. I railed and ranted, I panicked and I resisted big-time until the resistance slowly gave way to acceptance. And now from that place of complete acceptance I realise that all those externalities, like career, possessions, money, body, mind, relationships, that one depends on in the normal course of life are unstable structures. They are liable to shift and sway and sometimes give way. And if I depend on them too much, then I’m setting myself up for continual and repeated disappointment and pain.

So what else is there? I find that once we put away the things of the material world, then a whole new world of the spirit opens up. In the material world there is always a feeling of lack, and in order to fill this up we keep seeking more and more. More money, more possessions, more knowledge, more sex, more relationships. But the world of the spirit is one of abundance. It is brimming over and over-flowing. And it is available to us at all times. It is our essential nature. We are abundant and over-full. But unfortunately, we identify so totally with with we HAVE in our lives instead of what we ARE. So when the externals fall away as they are always likely to do then we flounder and faint and then catch hold of other crutches. In the process we fail to realise that we as we are, in our essential nature, are whole and complete. We are limitless, flowing, boundless, we are one and we are all. We are the universe. And there is nothing lacking in the universe.

I am also at that point in life where I’m about to say goodbye to the known and launch into the unknown. All by myself. It is scary at times and thrilling at others. But strangely enough when I face my fears they go away :) I feel like a frontier explorer. This must be how Columbus felt when he sailed away looking for India. But then I don’t even have a destination. All I know is that I’m about to set sail. Once again looking at it from the material sense, it seems scary, but when i move into the realm of the spirit, all fears drop away and I feel a sense of adventure. It is more than just an adventure in the worldly sense, it is more than jumping off a cliff in a bungee jump or rocketing down some torrential river in a canoe. This is more of a spiritual adventure, at every turn I have to deal with the many heads of the ego-dragon. At every step I have to keep from falling into the mind-trap.

Speaking of which it seemed to me last week that I had lost my mind. Seriously lost it. I was thinking and saying and doing things which I would never have considered doing a few months ago. But after all the dust had finally settled around the crisis, I realised that quite the contrary had happened. I had not lost my mind, but my mind had taken over total control of me. It had unleashed the ego which had taken over my thoughtscape and my soul was just a dim memory. I had completely and entirely forgotten that I was a spiritual being with a human body and mind not a human being with a soul tucked away somewhere.

This is why I love crises. Boy! Does it teach me lessons ! :))))))

Mark Twain’s Top 9 Tips for Living a Kick-Ass Life :)

Twain is known for his many – and often funny – quotes. Here are a few of my favourite tips from him.


1. Approve of yourself.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behaviour and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling. If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to do more of what you really want.

This can, in a related way, be a big obstacle in personal growth. You may have all the right tools to grow in some way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.

What you may be bumping into there are success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your own mind of what you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you are capable of. They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of person that could this thing that you’re attempting.

Or if you make some headway in the direction you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself. To keep yourself in a place that is familiar for you.

So you need give yourself approval and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the approval from others. But from yourself. To dissolve that inner barrier or let go of that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take time.


2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding. But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.

And people pick up on that and may react in negative ways. Or you may interpret anything they do as a negative reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused inward on yourself.

If you, on the other hand, don’t mind then people tend to not mind that much either. And if you don’t mind then you won’t let that part of yourself become a self-imposed roadblock in your life.

It is, for instance, seldom too late to do what you want to do.


3. Lighten up and have some fun.

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.

And a lighter mood is often a better space to work in because now your body and mind isn’t filled to the brim with negative emotions. When you are more light-hearted and relaxed then the solution to a situation is often easier to both come up with and implement. Have a look at Lighten Up! for more on this topic.


4. Let go of anger.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.

So even if you feel angry at someone for days recognize that you are mostly just hurting yourself. The other person may not even be aware that you are angry at him or her. So either talking to the person and resolving the conflict or letting go of anger as quickly as possible are pretty good tips to make your life more pleasurable.


5. Release yourself from entitlement.

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

When you are young your mom and dad may give a lot of things. As you grow older you may have a sort of entitlement. You may feel like the world should just give you what you want or that it owes you something.

This belief can cause a lot of anger and frustration in your life. Because the world may not give you what expect it to. On the other hand, this can be liberating too. You realize that it is up to you to shape your own life and for you to work towards what you want. You are not a kid anymore, waiting for your parents or the world to give you something.

You are in the driver’s seat now. And you can go pretty much wherever you want.


6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.

“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

I think this has quite a bit of relevance to self-improvement.

If you start to change or do something different than you usually do then people may react in different ways. Some may be happy for you. Some may be indifferent. Some may be puzzled or react in negative and discouraging ways.

Much of these reactions are probably not so much about you but about the person who said it and his/her life. How they feel about themselves is coming through in the words they use and judgements they make.

And that’s OK. I think it’s pretty likely that they won’t react as negatively as you may imagine. Or they will probably at least go back to focusing on their own challenges pretty soon.

So what other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.

You may find that when you finally cross that inner threshold you created then people around you may not shun you or go chasing after you with pitchforks. :) They might just go: “OK”.


7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality. Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.

It may be “normal” to dwell on problems and swim around in a sea of negativity. But that is a choice. And a thought habit. You may reflexively start to dwell on problems instead of refocusing your mind on something more useful. But you can also start to build a habit of learning to gain more and more control of where you put your focus.


8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

This may be a bit of a counter-intuitive tip. But as I wrote yesterday, one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel good or to help them in some way.

This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people. You help someone and both of you feel good. The person you helped feels inclined to give you a hand later on since people tend to want to reciprocate. And so the both of you are feeling good and helping each other.

Those positive feelings are contagious to other people and so you may end up making them feel good too. And the help you received from your friend may inspire you to go and help another friend. And so the upward spiral grows and continues.


9. Do what you want to do.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Awesome quote. And I really don’t have much to add to that one. Well, maybe to write it down and keep it as a daily reminder - on your fridge or bathroom door - of what you can actually do with your life.

------------------------- taken from www.stumbleupon.com in toto ------------------------

What is spiritual realisation?

What is spiritual realisation? The belief that you are spirit? No, that’s a thought. A little closer to the truth than the thought that believes you are who your birth certificate says you are, but still a thought. Spiritual realisation is to see clearly that what I perceive, experience, think or feel is ultimately not who I am, that I cannot find myself in all those things that continuously pass away. The Buddha was probably the first human being to see this clearly, and so anata (no self) became one of the central points of his teaching. And when Jesus said, “Deny thyself,” what he meant was: Negate (and thus undo) the illusion of self. If the self - ego - were truly who I am, it would be absurd to “deny” it.

What remains is the light of consciousness in which perceptions, experiences, thoughts, and feelings come and go. That is Being, that is the deeper, true I. When I know myself as that, whatever happens in my life is no longer of absolute but only of relative importance. I honour it, bit it loses its absolute seriousness, its heaviness. The only thing that ultimately matters is this: Can I sense my essential Beingness, the I Am, in the background of my life at all times? To be more accurate, can I sense the I Am that I Am at this moment? Can I sense my essential identity as consciousness itself? Or am I losing myself in what happens, losing myself in the mind, in the world?

----- excerpt from A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

Khamoshiyaan

Jaise raat ke sannatte mein
chedhi hui dhun
sitaron tak pahunch jaati hai,
waise hi mere dil ki awaaz
tum tak pahunchti hai
khamoshiyon mein.

Lafzon mein woh jaan kahan
itni taaqat kahan
ke apne kandhon par
meri khushi le kar chale?
Mera pyaar lekar tum tak aayein?

Khamoshiyon mein doobkar dekho
mujhe unmein zaroor paoge.

A different kind of music

Have you heard the music a tree makes?
Wind tapping drumbeats on the leaves,
evoking a thousand-leaved cymbal-song,
sunbeams quivering in a dance-along.

Have you heard the music a river makes?
Through meadow, hill and vale it skips,
singing a silver-tongued melody,
of mad longing to merge with the sea.

Have you heard the music a forest makes?
The sighs of trees, the calls of birds,
a warbling brook’s sweet laughing voice,
in the silence deep, softly rejoice.

Have you heard the music a flower makes?
As from bud to blossom it wakes,
unfurling each petal in perfect calm,
in its heart, the silence of dawn.

Have you heard the music a heart makes?
Sorrow / joy its strings strums,
as dreams form and shatter soundlessly,
and hopes rise and fall endlessly.

Have you heard the music a soul makes?
As shedding body and mind it takes
off in flight, free and boundless,
to float in supreme bliss endless...

Sapne

Maine bhi sapne sajaye the
apne aanchal mein,
nikhara tha unhe,
nazar utaarne ka teeka bhi
lagaya tha.

Chalte chalte ab raat ho gayi hai,
kshan bhar ruk kar
aanchal khol kar dekha
toh khali tha.

Aur phir uss veeran pal mein
ek khayal aaya,
mere jeevan mein
kai baar joh bahar aayi thi
kahin woh mere sapnon ka
khilna toh nahi.

Do not lean

Be a lamp unto yourselves; be ye a refuge to yourselves. Betake yourselves to no external refuge. (Buddha)

Main dhoonti hoon...

Main dhoonti hoon...
tumhare lafzon mein chupi khamoshiyon ke beech,
kahin woh khamoshi meri khamoshi se jud jaaye...

Main dhoonti hoon...
tumhare chehre ke badalte hue jazbaaton ke beech,
kahin pal bhar ke liye woh pyaar par ruk jaayein…

Main dhoonti hoon...
tumhari saari unn ankahi baaton ke beech,
kahin woh tumhe mujh tak le aayein…

Main dhoonti hoon...
tumhari aankhon ki gehraiyon ke beech,
kahin wahan mujhe tumhari rooh nazar aaye…

Main dhoonti hoon...
tumhari rooh ki nooriyon ke beech,
kahin unn mein mujhe khuda mil jaaye…

Dance of joy

I take huge heaps of solitude, add lots of energy, toss a Shuba Mudgal CD into the music system and here's what I got.

Pulsating music throbs, fills the room,
Drumbeats roll, trip, pound against my heart,
the notes of the shehnai, give wings to my heart
and the singer's voice, takes me through an emotional journey,
through the pangs of love, of separation,
the sweet agony of waiting, and the ecstasy of union,
the playfulness and joy of getting soaked in the rain,
the freedom of finding oneself.
The music washes against my body in waves,
soaks into me through my pores.
enters my bloodstream like a drug.

How can my body not move, how can it not dance?
Impelled by the voice, the rhythm, becoming feather-light,
caught in the taut embrace of the sound that fills the room,
eyes shut, I dance like one possessed,
a crazy smile on my face,
my heart filled with joy,
swirling round the room, I sway to the beat,
letting go of inhibitions, of the mind.
The music, the singer and I, we are one.
The music is me and I am it,
and the dance is the dance of our union.

In moments like these I truly live.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life ....

I think there are two kinds of life -

One is the kind in which we go through life eating, defecating, procreating, sleeping and then dying. We do this because it is prescribed by society to be the right way and we follow it blindly, without question.

The other is to recognise that there is more to life than all this. After all even the animals do the same, then how are we different. We have been blessed with superior intellect, higher emotion, imagination, intuition, for what purpose? It is to always go upwards seeking the higher in us, to seek to know the truth about ourselves, to see and fulfill what we can of our unlimited potential, to feel our spirt ever seek expansion and union with the Spirit, to know oneness. In my opinion, that is the only life worth living.

Ironsmith wanted ...

Was listening to a song sung by Shuba Mudgal called 'Babul jiya mora...' in which the singer says she doesn't want to marry into a goldsmith's family because she is not fond of jewellery, nor does she want to go into a wealthy family as riches hold no interest for her, and neither does she want to be married into a royal family as she does not know how to rule, but her fervent plea is -

mohe lohar ke ghar de di joh
joh mori zanjeeren pighalaein.....

to give her a iron smith's family, so that her shackles can be melted away.

And I cannot help thinking that is something I would ardently desire too, some thing to melt away my shackles, these chains of the mind, of habit, and custom, of destructive thinking, of the grip of the vice like ego, the illusions of the mind that so powerfully bind me to the world, that whip up in my breast storms unimaginable, that churn my thoughts into a maelstrom when all that I want is for all this to fall away like autumn leaves fall off trees, to melt away like the sun melts snow on mountains and for me to rest in the Lord, in unutterable peace and ineffable bliss.

My soul's desire

A long time ago, once when I was between jobs, I was having a conversation with God (or my Inner Self) and I was telling Him that what I miss most about not having a job is the sense of achievement. And His answer had come, swift, simple and clear, "Your life is not about achievement".

And yet when I look back now, I find that I have achieved much in the worldly sense, I have pushed my boundaries many times, both mental and emotional, and I can say with some pride that I have been successful. It is but an empty victory, merely an ego trip, the satisfaction exists in the mind but not in the soul. I ask myself now, "Is that all I wanted?" "Is it all that is possible?" "Is this why my soul got manifested in human form?" "What is it that, I, the soul, desire?" The answer is 'nothing'. Nothing at all.

Which leads me to the realisation that all my treasures are inner ones. The outer ones, they wax and wane, gather and fade, but my essence is incredibly invaluable, my inner self is unchanging, immortal and is of immense worth. Needless to say, it is divine.

can-opener

I just realised while talking to you Ushasam, that sometimes we are so blinded by the illusions of the world and the trickery of the mind, that it takes pain, like a can-opener, to pierce through the layers of deceit, slit open the shell of our ignorance and make us see the truth. Yes, pain can be a baptism too and a deliverance, and the Lord never said that the path to Him is an easy one. So let me not falter and let me not fail, else the price would be too great. Or if I fall, let me rise again and again like Christ did on the way to His crucifixion, only then to gain salvation and mukti ......

Today

Today I feel all aglow, for
God has set my soul ablaze,
my mind transfixed in space,
my heart bent on its knees
my body turned to ashes,
only the light remains.
Today I have shed all my fears
also a few salty tears,
that wash away the muck and gross
and frees my soul of the dross,
which then soars as a song
of deep pining and sweet union.

A divine love song

Would that you write on my soul paeans to the Divine, in words of indescribable love.

Would that you fill your pen with the essence of our love, with its timeless flowing, and its ecstatic joy.

Would it matter, what name you called Him, the nameless One, my soul would still know.

Would that He then come and unburden our hearts, unstitch our minds, His shafts of love freeing our souls.

Would that we then bleed willingly and joyously, shedding tears of bliss unutterable, our souls in boundless flight.

Would that we then realise our immortality, our divinity, our freedom, in silent surrender.

Would that we then become Him and He becomes us.

The black dog

Where has it gone
the splendour of my heart-song?
Where has it stolen away
leaving behind this empty shell
crusty, brittle and tired,
devoid of any glimmer of love
or a tremble of laughter
or even a remembered joy?

Will this night never end?

Will life ever return to my bones
now marowless.
Will passion flood (like it used to)
and throb and leap through my veins
taking me by surprise?
Do the ashes contain a hidden spark
that might catch my lips unawares
and set fire to my eyes?

Are dead stars ever reborn?

A moment infinite

I weave a web of serenity
to hold the world at bay
I drop into a well of peace
my soul doth hold sway.

Eons pass and ages roll
by, in instants mere,
in the deep silence we become one
the seeker and the seer.

Lovely like a bird

Here's Tia's (now 9 years old) latest poem -

As the flowers bloom the birds come out

Beautifully like a water sprout

Watching the bright blue sky

With the glimmer in your eye

With the angel next to you

You will see you are one too.

When you look at the sky now think different, think like a bird

Journey...

This journey I'm proposing that we take together is not to the moon or even to the stars. The distance to the stars is much less than the distance within ourselves. The discovery of ourselves is endless, and it requires constant inquiry, a perception which is total, an awareness in which there is no choice. This journey is really an opening of the door to the individual in his relationship with the world.

- J Krishnamurthy, at Madras, 7th public talk, December 13, 1959
Source - internet, ebook link

Relating, not relationship

Love is a state of your consciousness when you are joyous, when there is a dance in your being. Something starts vibrating, radiating from your centre, something starts pulsating around you. It starts reaching people, it can reach men, it can reach women, it can reach rocks, trees and stars.

When I am talking about love, I am talking about this love: a love that is not a relationship but a state of being. Always remember: whenever I use the word love, I use it as a state of being, not as a relationship. Relationship is only a very minor aspect of it. But your idea of love is basically that of relationship, as if that is all.

Relationship is needed only because you can’t be alone, because you are not yet capable of meditation. Hence, meditation is a must before you can really love. One should be capable of being alone, utterly alone, and yet tremendously blissful. Then you can love. Then your love is no longer a need but a sharing, no longer a necessity. You will not become dependent on the people you love. You will share – and sharing is beautiful.

But what ordinarily happens in the world is: You don’t have love, the person you think you love has no love in his being, either, and both are asking for love from each other. Two beggars begging each other! Hence, the fights, the conflict, the continuous quarrel between the lovers – over trivia, over immaterial things, over stupid things – but they go on quarrelling.

The basic quarrel is that the husband thinks he is not getting what is his right to get; the wife thinks she is not getting what is her right to get. The wife thinks she has been deceived, and the husband thinks he has been deceived. Where is the love? Nobody bothers to give, everybody wants to get. And when everybody is after getting, nobody gets it and everybody feels at a loss, empty, tense.

You live in such unawareness! You don’t see what you have been doing to your life and to others’ loves. You go on mechanically, robot-like, repeating the old pattern, knowing perfectly well you have done this before. And you know what has always been the outcome, and deep down you are also alert that it is going to happen the same way again – because there is no difference. You are preparing for the same conclusion, the same collapse.

If you can learn anything from the failure of love, it is to become more aware, become more meditative. And by meditation I mean the capacity to be joyous alone. Very rare people are capable of being blissful for no reason at all – just sitting silently and blissfully! Others will think them mad because the idea of happiness is that it has to come from somebody else. You meet a beautiful woman and you are happy, or you meet a beautiful man and you are happy. But sitting silently in your room and being so blissful, so blessed out? You must be crazy or something! People will suspect that you are on a drug, stoned.

Yes, meditation is the ultimate LSD! It is releasing your own psychedelic powers. It is releasing your own imprisoned splendour. And you become so joyous, such a celebration arises in your being, that you need not have any relationship. Still you can relate with people … and that’s the difference between relating and relationship.

Relationship is a thing: you cling to it. Relating is a flow, a movement, a process. You meet a person, you are loving because you have so much love to give – and the more you give, the more you have. Once you have understood this strange arithmetic of love – that the more you give, the more you have … This is just against the economic laws that operate in the outside world. Once you have known that, if you want to have more love and more joy, you give and share, then you simply share. And whosoever allows you to share your joy with him or with her, you feel grateful to him or her. But it is not a relationship, it is a river-like flow.

The river passes by the side of a tree, saying hello, nourishing the tree, giving water to the tree … and it moves on, dances on. It does not cling to the tree. And the tree does not say. “Where are you going? We are married! And before you can leave me you will need a divorce – at least a separation! Where are you going? And if you were going to leave me, why did you dance so beautifully around me? Why did you nourish me in the first place?” No, the tree showers its flowers onto the river in deep gratefulness, and the river moves on. The wind comes and dances around the tree and moves on. And the tree gives it fragrance to the wind.

This is relating. If humanity is ever going to become grown-up, mature, this will be the way of love: people meeting, sharing, moving, a non-possessive quality, a non-dominating quality. Otherwise love becomes a power trip.

----------------------- excerpt from 'Intimacy' by Osho ------------------------

Light

I am a being of light,
a part of the boundless ocean of light,
a beam from the blazing vastness of light,
what else could I be?
But I forget this at times,
searching for light in the outside darkness,
in the charms of the senses,
in the ways of the world,
only to come back empty-handed,
but if only I be still and look within,
I find that I am a luminous being of light.

Live ...

"Live out of your imagination, not your history." - Stephen Covey

Be Lost in the Call

------ a beautiful poem by Rumi -------------

Lord, said David, since you do not need us,
why did you create these two worlds?

Reality replied: O prisoner of time,
I was a secret treasure of kindness and generosity,
and I wished this treasure to be known,
so I created a mirror: its shining face, the heart;
its darkened back, the world;
The back would please you if you've never seen the face.

Has anyone ever produced a mirror out of mud and straw?
Yet clean away the mud and straw,
and a mirror might be revealed.

Until the juice ferments a while in the cask,
it isn't wine. If you wish your heart to be bright,
you must do a little work.

My King addressed the soul of my flesh:
You return just as you left.
Where are the traces of my gifts?

We know that alchemy transforms copper into gold.
This Sun doesn't want a crown or robe from God's grace.
He is a hat to a hundred bald men,
a covering for ten who were naked.

Jesus sat humbly on the back of an ass, my child!
How could a zephyr ride an ass?
Spirit, find your way, in seeking lowness like a stream.
Reason, tread the path of selflessness into eternity.

Remember God so much that you are forgotten.
Let the caller and the called disappear;
be lost in the Call.

- Rumi

Rumi

The drum of the realization of the promise is beating,
we are sweeping the road to the sky. Your joy is here today, what remains for tomorrow?
The armies of the day have chased the army of the night,
Heaven and earth are filled with purity and light.
Oh! joy for he who has escaped from this world of perfumes and color!
For beyond these colors and these perfumes, these are other colors in the heart and the soul.
Oh! joy for this soul and this heart who have escaped
the earth of water and clay,
Although this water and this clay contain the hearth of the
philosophical stone.

---

When you lose everything
you find yourself,
it's really that simple.