Journey...

This journey I'm proposing that we take together is not to the moon or even to the stars. The distance to the stars is much less than the distance within ourselves. The discovery of ourselves is endless, and it requires constant inquiry, a perception which is total, an awareness in which there is no choice. This journey is really an opening of the door to the individual in his relationship with the world.

- J Krishnamurthy, at Madras, 7th public talk, December 13, 1959
Source - internet, ebook link

Relating, not relationship

Love is a state of your consciousness when you are joyous, when there is a dance in your being. Something starts vibrating, radiating from your centre, something starts pulsating around you. It starts reaching people, it can reach men, it can reach women, it can reach rocks, trees and stars.

When I am talking about love, I am talking about this love: a love that is not a relationship but a state of being. Always remember: whenever I use the word love, I use it as a state of being, not as a relationship. Relationship is only a very minor aspect of it. But your idea of love is basically that of relationship, as if that is all.

Relationship is needed only because you can’t be alone, because you are not yet capable of meditation. Hence, meditation is a must before you can really love. One should be capable of being alone, utterly alone, and yet tremendously blissful. Then you can love. Then your love is no longer a need but a sharing, no longer a necessity. You will not become dependent on the people you love. You will share – and sharing is beautiful.

But what ordinarily happens in the world is: You don’t have love, the person you think you love has no love in his being, either, and both are asking for love from each other. Two beggars begging each other! Hence, the fights, the conflict, the continuous quarrel between the lovers – over trivia, over immaterial things, over stupid things – but they go on quarrelling.

The basic quarrel is that the husband thinks he is not getting what is his right to get; the wife thinks she is not getting what is her right to get. The wife thinks she has been deceived, and the husband thinks he has been deceived. Where is the love? Nobody bothers to give, everybody wants to get. And when everybody is after getting, nobody gets it and everybody feels at a loss, empty, tense.

You live in such unawareness! You don’t see what you have been doing to your life and to others’ loves. You go on mechanically, robot-like, repeating the old pattern, knowing perfectly well you have done this before. And you know what has always been the outcome, and deep down you are also alert that it is going to happen the same way again – because there is no difference. You are preparing for the same conclusion, the same collapse.

If you can learn anything from the failure of love, it is to become more aware, become more meditative. And by meditation I mean the capacity to be joyous alone. Very rare people are capable of being blissful for no reason at all – just sitting silently and blissfully! Others will think them mad because the idea of happiness is that it has to come from somebody else. You meet a beautiful woman and you are happy, or you meet a beautiful man and you are happy. But sitting silently in your room and being so blissful, so blessed out? You must be crazy or something! People will suspect that you are on a drug, stoned.

Yes, meditation is the ultimate LSD! It is releasing your own psychedelic powers. It is releasing your own imprisoned splendour. And you become so joyous, such a celebration arises in your being, that you need not have any relationship. Still you can relate with people … and that’s the difference between relating and relationship.

Relationship is a thing: you cling to it. Relating is a flow, a movement, a process. You meet a person, you are loving because you have so much love to give – and the more you give, the more you have. Once you have understood this strange arithmetic of love – that the more you give, the more you have … This is just against the economic laws that operate in the outside world. Once you have known that, if you want to have more love and more joy, you give and share, then you simply share. And whosoever allows you to share your joy with him or with her, you feel grateful to him or her. But it is not a relationship, it is a river-like flow.

The river passes by the side of a tree, saying hello, nourishing the tree, giving water to the tree … and it moves on, dances on. It does not cling to the tree. And the tree does not say. “Where are you going? We are married! And before you can leave me you will need a divorce – at least a separation! Where are you going? And if you were going to leave me, why did you dance so beautifully around me? Why did you nourish me in the first place?” No, the tree showers its flowers onto the river in deep gratefulness, and the river moves on. The wind comes and dances around the tree and moves on. And the tree gives it fragrance to the wind.

This is relating. If humanity is ever going to become grown-up, mature, this will be the way of love: people meeting, sharing, moving, a non-possessive quality, a non-dominating quality. Otherwise love becomes a power trip.

----------------------- excerpt from 'Intimacy' by Osho ------------------------

Light

I am a being of light,
a part of the boundless ocean of light,
a beam from the blazing vastness of light,
what else could I be?
But I forget this at times,
searching for light in the outside darkness,
in the charms of the senses,
in the ways of the world,
only to come back empty-handed,
but if only I be still and look within,
I find that I am a luminous being of light.

Live ...

"Live out of your imagination, not your history." - Stephen Covey

Be Lost in the Call

------ a beautiful poem by Rumi -------------

Lord, said David, since you do not need us,
why did you create these two worlds?

Reality replied: O prisoner of time,
I was a secret treasure of kindness and generosity,
and I wished this treasure to be known,
so I created a mirror: its shining face, the heart;
its darkened back, the world;
The back would please you if you've never seen the face.

Has anyone ever produced a mirror out of mud and straw?
Yet clean away the mud and straw,
and a mirror might be revealed.

Until the juice ferments a while in the cask,
it isn't wine. If you wish your heart to be bright,
you must do a little work.

My King addressed the soul of my flesh:
You return just as you left.
Where are the traces of my gifts?

We know that alchemy transforms copper into gold.
This Sun doesn't want a crown or robe from God's grace.
He is a hat to a hundred bald men,
a covering for ten who were naked.

Jesus sat humbly on the back of an ass, my child!
How could a zephyr ride an ass?
Spirit, find your way, in seeking lowness like a stream.
Reason, tread the path of selflessness into eternity.

Remember God so much that you are forgotten.
Let the caller and the called disappear;
be lost in the Call.

- Rumi

Rumi

The drum of the realization of the promise is beating,
we are sweeping the road to the sky. Your joy is here today, what remains for tomorrow?
The armies of the day have chased the army of the night,
Heaven and earth are filled with purity and light.
Oh! joy for he who has escaped from this world of perfumes and color!
For beyond these colors and these perfumes, these are other colors in the heart and the soul.
Oh! joy for this soul and this heart who have escaped
the earth of water and clay,
Although this water and this clay contain the hearth of the
philosophical stone.

---

When you lose everything
you find yourself,
it's really that simple.

Day 3 - Tauranga to Wellington

After a good night's sleep (thanks to the soak in the pool) I wake up and after a cup of tea, go for another soak in the pool. A short one this time :))) Breakfast and packing over, we check out and decide to explore the water-front. The bayside is beautiful, the tide is out it looks like, and so the birds are busy on the mudflats looking for food. The breeze is strong and tosses the trees making the most beautiful music. I walk under some ancient pohutukawas (a native NZ flowering tree) which are not in flower yet but have these great masses of ariel roots growing downwards, some enveloping the trunk in some kind of rooty embrace :) While the young roots look red and tender against the dried up, brown ones. The houses lining the bayside look lovely and they somehow remind me of Kerala houses, basking in the warm sunshine, while people sit outside in summer clothes and sip tea or beer. There is a languid grace to Tauranga that is captivating and relaxing. And I somehow want to linger and lurk and stay on.

Alas! can't do that, so we pile into the car and head homewards. On the way we stop at a kiwifruit tourist attraction. There are acres and acres of kiwifruit plantation all looking happy and gleaming in the sun. We go into the tourist centre and I buy a kiwifruit soap, preserves and jam. And then it's driving again southwards.

The day is beautiful, and the countryside sparkles like a green jewel set off by the sunbeams. Lakes and streams flash by bluely and pastures and hills roll along placidly. Pine forests rise on both sides sometimes and the sunlight streams into the forest floor in long yellow fingers lighting up the grass and bushes on the ground. If a wind is blowing, the branches wave their arms at me as we pass :)

We drive through Rotorua and stop at Taupo for lunch. It's good to see Lake Taupo again, gleaming blue under the blue sky. I always find the lake amazing, I mean it's the crater of a volcano and it's so big on misty days one can hardly see the other side. And this great opening filled up with fresh water fed by the surrounding rivers and streams. The water is calm today and there is such a feeling of sublime peace when I gaze at it. Sigh. I feel like lingering and gazing at the lake for a long time, but the tyrant with its ever-moving hands reminds me that we need to get to Wellington soon.

So we're off again. We stop again at Rations Cafe in Waioru for a cup of tea and then I take to the wheel. In spite of my best intentions, I make of couple of reckless mistakes one of which I'm sure must have given the driver of a massive truck a massive heart attack :((( I feel sorry for a long time afterwards. By the grace of God we reach Wellington by 7.40, in one piece, relaxed but tired, having had a wonderful time up north.

Day 2 - Whakatane to Tauranga

I got up at eight, or was it 8.30. Who cares? After all I'm on holiday. My body said that it could sleep for another 12 hours. But I didn't have another 12 hours, coz we had to check out at 10. So I drag myself out of bed and have tea and the fried eggs and toast which M has so kindly made for me. Anyway, my protesting body is moving in slow-motion but by 9.50 we're all packed and checked out. I had signed up to go to the While Island, an active volcano, a long distance into the sea. It would have involved a 2-hour boat ride, then 2 hours on the island and 2 hours for the return trio, but weather conditions do not permit the trip :((( We decide to take a walk along the Whakatane River which runs alongside the motel and spend the good part of the next 45 mins sauntering along the placidly flowing river. We see a Boat Club and stand and watch youngsters being coached in rowing. Then we go to the Town Hall coz M is keen to see some Craft Fair that's going on there. End up spending heaps of money quite unnecessarily. :((( Then, we head off for the mouth of the river where it meets the sea. Great views. There is a statue of a woman built atop a little hilltop in the waters. The Woman of the Sea I think she is called and there is some local legend about her bringing the first weka (boat) that the Maori came in safely ashore. Then we head out of Whakatane.

The drive to Tauranga is very picturesque, For a long stretch, the road runs along the sea and as always the surrounding countryside is green, clean and fresh. Cattle, sheep and horses graze in the fields and houses rise occasionally among them. We pass little towns with sweet names like Pengakawa, Maniatutu and Te Puke. About an hour later we reach Tauranga. Which is a seaside city too but has an estuarine look, therefore to get the city we have to drive over bridges that span over the bays. Very beautiful.

We are checked into the motel by Marilyn. Marilyn is a curious contrast to Magdalene of yesterday. While Magdalene was very friendly and a bit short of information, Marilyn is very matter-of-fact and businesslike and has lots of information to offer. Not that I'm complaining :))) The room is cosy and comfortable and has a little mineral-water pool outside in an enclosed area. We have lunch and then I decide to take a little nap. Must say, it proves a little difficult at first since I'm not used to sleeping in the afternoon, but soon my body winds down and I nap for a while and then wake up and lie in the soft bed just letting my mind float. That is one of the joys of being on holiday, I can give that tyrant, the clock, a massive ignore. The person who divided the day into hours, minutes and seconds must have been an unhappy person indeed. Why would one want to measure one's life in little time chunks? And now the malaise is so deep-rooted that we let our lives be dictated by a mechanical device with hands that move unceasingly. Sigh !!! Even by four my body and mind are reluctant to get vertical so I remain prone in bed, just being lazy :))).

After a while I get up, have a cup of tea and we head out for sightseeing. First stop is the beach. This one is a surfers' beach coz the waves come in in long big curls and sure enough there are a lot of surfers in the water riding the waves. I walk along leisurely taking loads of pictures. The beach, the sea, the sky and the skyline are so beautiful, I feel the photos will not do justice to the breathtaking beauty. The sound of the crashing waves is music to my jaded ears. there is such an air of timelessness about the ocean. Heaving and crashing on the fine sand, pulled by the moon, the interconnectedness of all things becomes evident. After the sun's gone down over the hills, it turns a bit chilly and head back to the car and drive to Mt.Manganui. It looks more like a hillock to me after coming from mountainous Wellington :)) We find an Indian restaurant and order some takeaway including some fih and chicken. I don't know why but I have this sudden desire to eat some meat :( While we're waiting for the food to be ready we drive out to the harbour area, where the ships are docked and where little sailboats dot the calm waters of the bay, looking very pretty and very Meditteranean.

We reach the motel and I start eating only to feel disappointed and crappy. The meat does not taste as good as I had imagined it to be and I am feeling crappy that I broke my long held resolve. Anyway, to make myself feel better, I climb into the hot-water pool.

Aaaaaahhhh!!! My body and mind immediately relax and let out a long exhalation. The water is bore-welled straight from under the earth :))) and has a sulphuric smell to it. It feels hot and urgent against my skin and the aches and pains in my body begin to throb. I hope that by the time I get out, they'll be all gone :) The inlet that lets the water in is directly behind my back and it gives a pleasant vibration on my back as the mild current hits my body. I just lie there eyes closed and soak it all in. Little by little my body releases its tensions and little by little the sky above darkens. The rain that had started earlier has now stopped and through the gaps in the clouds I see the stars come out. My body just floats in the water disregarding gravity, it's amazing. After a long time, I climb out of the pool and take a shower. When I finish, I am so relaxed that I feel like I'm drunk. I climb into bed and try to sleep, but sleep comes slowly, and when it finally comes it enfolds me in its warm embrace.

Day 1 - Wellington to Whakatane

We left at 6.40 in the morning even though I had planned to leave at 6. Stopped for breakfast at around 8 at Paraparamau, then drove right up to Waioru which has got an army outpost, so the cafe over there is called Rations :))) It's actually owned by a second-generation Malaysian Indian whose parents were from Kerala. We had chatted him up the last time we were there and he had told us that he had done his colleging in some Kerala university. We met him today again and to my great surprise he said, 'It's good to see you folks again'. How sweet of him, or maybe it's a business tactic.

Thereafter I took to the wheel and as usual turned into a daredevil :))) overtaking dangerously and all that, but these days I'm a bit more cautious, I must be getting old :((( We crossed the Desert Road, with Mount Raupahu rising majestically on our left. The spring weather seems to have depleted its snow cover somewhat but it still looked stunning and glorious, white-streaked on the sides.

We reached Taupo soon after and the lake was calm this time, glittering blue, with its waters gently lapping the sides. It was hard for me to take my eyes off the lake but the roads were winding and steep, so I missed seeing most of the lake this time.

We crossed Taupo without stopping and just on the way out saw a girl on the side of the road hitch-hiking. So I stopped and we gave her a lift. She wanted to go to Tauranga but we were going to Whakatane so we told her we could drop her off at Rotorua. She seemed to have been partying all night coz she still smelt of alcohol. But she told us that she was going to Tauranga for a family get-together and that her car had broken down. Fair enough. After we dropped her off at Rotorua, M remarked as to how she could be traveling without any belongings, for indeed she had nothing with her, except a coat. So, tongue-in-cheek I told him, that's the best way to travel through life, without any possessions. He didn't look too impressed.

We parked in a petrol station and had our lunch (curd-rice, aachar, and potato sabzi) out of the back of the car. M said we could have found a park to sit and eat but somehow I wanted to get to Whakatane soon. Hmmmm..... Strange behaviour from me, coz I always like to take the journey slow and easy and enjoy it.

M drove through the last leg of the journey from Rotorua to Whakatane. On the way we passed the Rotorua lakes. Beautiful blue jewels, calm and serene, the road hugging the sides. The scenery throughout was breathtakingly beautiful. The rains had made everything green and verdant, the valleys gurgles with little streams and the hills rose green and pockmarked with sheep. Mist hung to the hillsides occasionally and light rain fell here and there. Wildflowers nodded their dainty little colourful heads from the sides of the roads and hills and from crevices in rocks. And the clouds lumped white in the blue sky, fat and voluminous.

We reached Whakatane at around 2.30 and checked into our motel. Our hostess Magdelena is an interesting woman. South African of origin, she came to NZ 10 years ago and started running this motel 2 years ago. We settled in and I was quite tired from the lack of sleep and the drive so I took a little nap. M went for a walk meanwhile. At around 5, we decided to check out the beach at Ohune.

After a 20 minute drive, we reached Ohune, parked the car and went for a stroll along the beach. I had a gala time taking pictures, while the surf roared in the background and then spent itself out, flattening itself on the beach sands. The waves had made interesting patterns on the sand and the foam left behind looked like modern art. After the sun dipped in the horizon and it got a bit chilly, we got back into the car and decided to explore the little harbour, but after a lot of driving didn't find it. So we headed back to the motel.