Just a thought ...

Do not give all of yourself to any one person or thing or activity or idea, you are too huge and immense to be held in another person's hands. Only life can hold you, only the universe can…...

Stillness .....

"To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders."

- Lao Tsu

Renunciation

It is hard to live the life of renunciation;
its challenges are difficult to find pleasant.
Yet it is also hard to live the householder's life;
there is pain when associating with those
among whom one feels no companionship.
To wander uncommitted is always going to be difficult;
why not renounce the deluded pursuit of pain?

Dhammapada verse 302

Longing

There's an odd sort of feeling
that rises in my heart,
unformed, unnamed, niggling,
that refuses to part.

I still my mind in silence
and stare at it for long.
Unmoving, it intesifies,
curious, I flow along.

Beneath, I find it lurks
my moments dark and fair.
And every step it dogs
their emptiness laying bare.

Joy, excitement, happiness,
I look at each in turn.
Fear, envy, hopelessness,
these I quickly spurn.

I see it then emerge,
a longing deep it is,
with my Creator to merge
and lose myself in Bliss.

Lesson time again

It's lesson time for me again, and the important ones I've learnt (or trying hard to learn) over the past few days are -

1. Your self-worth is never to depend on what someone else says/does, or does not say/do. If it does then you are simply giving away your power to someone else, it's like, it is your life but you are letting someone else pilot it. Take back the controls, look inside and find your worth on your own.

2. Let go of the past. Always. It is dead. If ghosts of it still keep appearing, then you've probably not achieved closure. Bring out the issues into the open, deal with them, resolve them and bury them. Period.

3. One close, deep relationship is more precious than a hundred shallow ones. Throw out the shallow ones, they take away too much of your time and energy and will probably not be around when times are bad. Nurture your close relationships. Lavish your love on the really meaningful ones. Let them bloom and grow.

4. Nurture yourself. If there is anyone in the universe most deserving of your love, it is you. So said Buddha. You cannot love others if you are feeling unloved or unlovable yourself. You cannot make the world a happy place if your inner life is in shambles. Nurture your inner self with kindness, compassion, love.

5. Your happiness or sorrow is entirely based upon the thoughts you have. You can change your attitude and be forever happy, but that happiness is still of the mind and belongs to the world. Bliss, on the other hand, comes from rising above the mind, it is neither happy nor sad, it is just a state of being in oneness.

6. Remember you are divine. Never lose an opportunity in all your quiet moments to remind yourself that. Slowly but surely the knowledge will seep in and wisdom will dawn. This will take you out of the drama of the world and put you in touch with joy and bliss. Then you can splash around in the world and still not get wet.

God Bless!

An autumnal song

On a watery, wintry sort of sky,
blue, benign, with blossoming clouds,
the sun hides, hesitates, appears,
and pale sunbeams on the grass lie.

Autumn's brush has splashed the trees
with the colours of a fire ablaze,
orange, yellow, red and gold, leaves
crisp, crinkly, on the grass, aflame.

A loving presence, a stillness deep,
joins me, lets me company keep.
I drop my burdens at His feet,
my fears on His bosom sleep.

And Nature in joyousness sings
the birds, the trees, the crooning wind,
and hill to hill with hymning fills,
my soul, the rhapsody joins in.

Crisis

I search for clues among the debris
of the scattered remnants of a crisis.
A stitch with which this heart to mend,
a light into raptures my soul to send.

Along the shores of a scattered mind,
and a heart now a desert wasteland,
a shining pearl I shall surely find,
among the forlorn driftwood on the sand.

The pain I hope has broken the shell
of ignorance, and will bring a swell,
a tide of wisdom so painfully won,
a desire to carefully darkness shun.

Will the light lift the veil and reveal
my soul, will it darkness' layers peel?
A dream, a passing dream it is,
this and every other crisis.

Why have you forsaken me, oh Lord?

Why in confusion does my mind part?
Why does fear vandalise my heart?
Will you not hear my plea, oh Lord?

I stand before your door, bereft,
My heart this pain has rent, cleft,
Will you not open unto me, oh Lord?

The solace of your arms I seek,
Lowly I stand before you, meek,
Will you not embrace me, oh Lord?

As hope slowly dims and fades,
And darkness in my soul pervades,
Have you forsaken me, oh Lord?

Love

Have you noticed that love takes you over all obstacles, makes light your burdens, strengthens your heart, lightens your step, brings out the joy in your soul, makes you realise you are Divine? Why then do we cling to your fears, most of them unfounded? Why do we abdicate a kingdom of love, a paradise of bliss for a poor substitute, a gloomy thorny desert of fear? How can we be the most evolved creation when we do not realise this? Is our Creator disappointed? Does he ardently desire that we return to His kingdom? Is he patiently waiting? Why don't we heed His call? Whose is the greater loss? His or ours? Now I know what my soul years for ......

Love...

Do everything with so much love in your heart
that you would never want to do it any other way.

- Yogi Desai

Little by little your heart grows up

'Lil Tia's latest poem -

Little by little your heart's power grows up
Like water in a golden clear cup
When you overcome fears you will
Make cheers and cheers but
The worst thing can happen sometimes
You might become a bad person who makes
Tricks and pranks and crimes
So don’t run off when you’re six or seven
you will understand your parents when you’re twelve and eleven.

Wellsprings of love

I have found that people usually say to me that I do well at everything I undertake. I did some thinking on that and realised that the reason behind it is that I do everything with a lot of love. The moment I do something less than whole-heartedly, the result is also less than satisfactory. It is said that our natural state is the state of love. When we strip away the thoughts, feelings and concepts that habitually occupy our mind space, all that is left is Love. But sometimes I lose that connection with my Inner Source, I lose connection with the wellspring of my being. And then from that state of darkness to come back into light is a struggle. So I decided to investigate what it is that nourishes that wellspring of Love within me that keeps me connected.

I find that meditation or being in the meditative state helps. As also spending time by myself in solitude. All of us are bundles of energy and we are constantly transmitting and receiving energy from others. Sometimes this energy can cause an overload on our system causing it to distort our own energy frequencies or maybe we could pick up negative impulses unknowingly or unwittingly. The time spent in solitude enables us to clear this energy overlap from others and recharge our batteries.

Have you noticed how Nature is always connected to the source? There is no falsehood, no ego, no malice or anger, Nature is constantly being itself, in all its pristine simplicity. Being in Nature somehow connects me to that simplicity of the universe, its orderliness and its love. All my masks, my pretensions, my barriers fall away and I am able to get in touch with the deep peace within me, to the simplicity and innocence.

There are moments in life when we experience something that takes us out of ourselves. Like listening to beautiful music, or being engaged in an activity that makes time stop, we lose our awareness of the past and the future and only the present remains, During those times we experience eternity, for being in the present is being in the eternal Now. We drop the concept of a limited time frame and experience the limitlessness of our being.

If you have spent time with babies (not as caretakers feeding, changing, bathing them :) but just being with them, you'll realise that babies are in a state of bliss. They look at the world with no preconceived notions, no learned responses, no fear or anger or unwarranted desire. Soon you begin to drop your fears, your agitation (which is always under the surface, no matter how calm a person you are :) your street-smartness, your constant alertness to danger and begin to reclaim that state of innocence that dwells within you always. When you are with a baby you cannot feel anything but love and joy, her innocence is so heart-breaking.

So it seems to me that to keep that well-spring of love within me brimming and overflowing, I need to seek those experiences that keep me connected with the Source.

Do you have your own list?

:)

The Matrix

------------------- excerpt from a Dreams Alive newsletter ---------------------

"Unplugging from the Matrix"

If you saw the move, "The Matrix", you understand how we can be unconsciously programmed without even knowing it. The central character named Neo at first isn't even aware of the illusion that he's been living. But when Morpheus shows him how he's been "going through the motions" - almost like a robot, itawakens Neo. At first Neo thinks he's powerful (the ego tries to take charge again) and he becomes disappointed in his newly discovered abilities.

But as Morpheus reminds him, it's all an illusion...
Neo is still in disbelief...

How could I have been fooled for so long? Why? How is it possible?

As Neo begins to awaken, he wonders, Is he the One?

The real question is, can he step back from the Matrix long enough to sense the illusion - and detach from it...

Once he detaches, he begins to re-discover his real power...His Essence.

So the question we can ask ourselves is:

Are we aware of the illusions we've allowed ourselves to believe?

Do they make us fall back again into the "psychic sleep" or do they help awaken us?

The Matrix is the false premise of "Something else controls me. I'm asleep. They're at the helm. I'm a victim. They take control. There's not enough..."

But at Source level - nothing can ever control you. There's more than enough for everyone.

As you begin to remember why you came here to this planet, and the lessons you've come to re-learn, what used to cause you stress and overwhelm will begin to energize and inspire you.

So smile, take a deep breath and realize… I Am Source...

And from that level - you are free…

In that moment, you've reconnected to the "I Am" Presence. You feel the One-ness and how everything in life is connected.

Life feels new again...

If money is a concern for you - the "Matrix" has a hold of you. Remember scarcity is an illusion - it's not real. Right now you have access to the same supply that each of us has - and that supply is Infinite. It's only the mind that's been conditioned to believe otherwise.

And you know you're not your mind - right?

To Your Dreams And To Your Abundance,

Paul Bauer http://www.dreamsalive.com/

--------------------------- end of excerpt -----------------------------

Sunlight sonata

The day dawns beautiful, the sun rises over the hills and pours its liquid light into the nooks and crannies and floods the valley. It's a blessed sight and a blessing to watch, sunlight crowning the tops of trees and falling quivering on the grass. Leaping and gleaming on the satin waves rippling down the river. Spotlighting the houses nestling on the sides of the hills in an orange glow, naughty rays glinting off windows caught off-guard. Falling warm on my face, my hands and through the windows of my eyes reaching my heart where it glows like a fiery diamond. What do you call it when the light without meets the light within?

And all through the day the liquid light flowing through my mind……

Surely we must be beings of light, else why would we respond so joyously to the sunlight, why would the moon rising on a dark sky send us into such raptures? Why would we love light so much that we flood our nighttimes with so much artificial light. Surely man among all his waking moments must at least in some luminous moment remember that he is a being of light. Else how futile would our life be, if we were to surround ourselves with light without and yet live in darkness within. Look at babies, look at their eyes, how full of light they are. There is no fear there, no darkness. And yet we say we are grown-up and all we have done is to lose sight of our own light. Why do we go seeking to solve the mysteries of the universe, to shed light on all the unsolved mysteries of the world when what we need to do is to delve within ourselves and reacquaint ourselves with our true selves. And find our light ……

Afternoon song

It is a great blessing that today is a holiday and the weather is perfect. The sun rises over the hills and floods the valley with a pale autumn sunlight. Towards afternoon after a late breakfast, I decide to spend some time in our garden. The sun is soft and warm on my face or back and it is cool in the shade. I clear the garden of weeds, dead leaves and twigs to the accompanying music of birdsong. The tui calls in its distinct double-noted song. And the wind gently serenades the tree-tops like a sweet violin accompaniment. The grass, the leaves, the soil is soft in my hands and the atmosphere is calm. But thoughts roil and rumble in my mind as I grapple with emotions. But after a while I have a moment of clarity.

I realize that my greatest weakness has been that I have never been aware of my own strength. It is true that in the past that I’ve had glimpses of it and it has come to my aid in times of difficulty. But as a constant everyday conviction, I do not think of myself as strong. I tend to look outside for external validation. But in that moment of clarity I realize that I am stronger than all my troubles, difficulties and obstacles. I am powerful beyond measure. This somehow seems to settle my thoughts and calm my emotions. Yes, I have great strength which is not of the ego, but is inherent in me as a quality of my inner self, and I possess great courage too. And yes, I must not allow myself to forget this :)

Amazing Grace

A song that never fails to move me to tears and uplift my spirits.
In Hayley Westentra's sweet voice .......



click here to listen

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught...
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.

When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

Tia'a Poem

Among all the people who called / wrote and wished me on my birthday, I also got a call from my brother who told me that his 8 year-old daughter has started writing poetry and that she had wriiten one that blew his mind. He sent it to me and, well, it blew me away too :)))

So, without much further ado, here's the 'lil button's poem -

Sometimes I think of things that don't have a chime
things that aren't real or dont have a rhyme.
Thoughts of things that are all imagination
things that are full of me and my full creation.
From time to time I make it rhyme
Whenever I hear a chime, I burst into tears
cause all the pasts I've been through will give me all those fears.
Now I am older, I understand I need to overcome those fears
and stop my big bursting tears,
My poem to follow for all my years.

Maps and other travel thoughts

Have you ever been in a situation where you are travelling somewhere and you realise you are lost? You go around and around going past the same streets again and again trying desperately to get your bearings, lost and confused, until you remember the map that you forgot to consult. Then you look at it, find your location, the areas around and everything falls into place. You can see your destination, all available routes and the best route to take to get there. An aerial view when you are down there on the ground lost, almost always brings clarity.

For the past few weeks, I have been scampering around like a rat lost in a maze desperately seeking routes to go forward. Signposts to tell me what to do, where to go. After I was well and truly lost among the maze of emotions, experiences and choices, down on the ground, the only way to go was up and so I decided to get an aerial view. In my case it is the soul's point of view, why I am here, what I am doing towards achieving that purpose. When I detach myself from the drama, intensity and immediacy of life, I am able to see my purpose, my way forward, the reasons for the experiences of my life more clearly. Looking at the larger picture clarifies my life and I am better able to choose the best possible route to get to my destination.

I have also realised that when you are a traveller you enjoy the ride, you don't get attached to the scenery. So too with life, why get attached to people, places, pleasant experiences?

And, in spite of our travelling companions, we always travel alone, my experiences and the lessons I have to learn are my own, my path can only be walked upon by me.

~~~

Thoughts on a partly sunny day

This morning I sit in the lounge with a hot cup of tea and gaze at the scene outside the French windows. It's been raining for the last two days, so the trees are looking invigoratingly greener and the birds are all chirping among the leaves. It is a mixed sort of day, as though the day cannot decide which way to go. The sky is full of clouds so the sunlight is hazy, but once in a while the clouds part and the light creeps up the balcony floor and in towards the carpet. The intensity of the sunlit pattern changes as the light goes from hazy to strong and back to vague again as the clouds move back and forth in the sky.

I cannot help thinking how similar our lives are. I think our soul is like the sun, bright and luminous, always there, always shining. And the clouds, they are our thoughts and resulting emotions, our experiences. White fluffy clouds for positive, happy thoughts. Grey, menacing clouds for dark, tumultuous emotions. And at any given moment of time, these clouds whether white or dark are always clouding the wisdom of our soul, blocking out its light. And we mistakenly think that life consists of clouds, as our gaze moves from white clouds to gray and back and forth, most of the time unaware of our sun-soul.

But if we were to be in a state of mindful awareness we could reach the state of 'sthithaprajna'. The Stithaprajna dwells always in the Spirit without giving way to grief, lust, fear and delusion. His vision beholds the Spirit everywhere. For that we have to rise above the clouds, high up there we can see the clouds for what they are, where they arise from and how transient they are. In that state we can see the luminance of the sun at all times.

Then there will be no cloudy days, only sunlit ones :) Then we can behold the Divine always.

~~~

Thoughts on a cloudy day

Come with me on a journey, let's do a small exercise together. If you are not near an open window, after you read this move to a window. If it's night wherever you are, no problem, just make small adjustments in your thinking :) now that's easy, isn't it?

Ok, now look out towards the sky. Hopefully, you will be able to see a patch of sky, blue, or grey or black or white with clouds. If there are clouds, watch them for a while, observe how they shift and move, sometimes imperceptibly, but move they do, they change shape, get fatter and denser or dissipate into wisps of mist. It is very calming and soothing. Watch them for a while. Notice their impermanence, their shifting, moving quality. Our troubles are like that, blocking out the sun, clouding our vision, sometimes getting fatter and more dense and engulfing us completely while we flap around like a drowning person, trying to find the light. But all we need to do is make a slight shift in our perspective and tell ourselves, 'this too will pass', this is 'annicca' like the Buddhists call it. This is impermanent. This will shift and move and pass away. If we remain calm and detached, troubles are like clouds, they swirl around us but eventually they move on.

If the clouds have passed, notice the sky, its colour. Blue. Scientists tell us that the colour is the result of the scattering of sunlight. I have noticed that the sunlight that you experience in places that are closer to the equator have a more yellow quality and the sunlight in places further away from the Equator is more blue-tinged. But how can that be? Pure light is white, so what explains the colour? Let's look at the concept of colour. Our eyes see everything around us as having some colour, or white or black. The names of the colours are labels that humans have given to colours to communicate better, for I do not think that honeybees say to themselves, "oh look! A RED flower!" Again science tells us that colours result when the light that strikes a surface reflects on to our eyes after the rest of the spectrum has been absorbed by the object. So when light falls on a plant, the plant absorbs all the rays of light except the green part which get picked up by our eyes. So colour just like shape, texture, solidity are just the perception of our senses.

Look at the blue sky more closely. It almost looks solid. Like an inverted blue bowl. Nothing else is visible unless the moon has risen during the day or you might see passing birds or planes. But we know that there is only air up there, it is not solid. Beyond the blueness, unseen by us, there are planets, stars, galaxies, supernovas. See them all in your mind's eye, stretched out to infinity, expand your consciousness outward to meet them, outwards in all directions. Feel the vastness within you, flowing out from you, feel the disappearance of boundaries. Your body is the experience of the senses, like colours, like solidity, feel it become light and unburdensome. There is nothing to fear at all, everything is light and love in the Universe, feel the lightness and the love. Unhindered by the senses, feel the oneness with all creation. This is our natural state.

And yes, things are not what they appear to be. It's all a matter of perception and you can alter your reality by changing your perspective.

~~~