Occasionally, (thankfully not often) I am assailed by such strong feeling of discontent that the resulting discomfort is almost physical. A quiet voice (no doubt angelic) gently reminds me that Providence has been so kind as to shower me with so many blessing I must not be ungrateful and therefore unkind. But even though the logic is sound and the sentiment worthy, the discontent will not go away. It rages on in my breast with such ferocity that I am forced to focus all my attention on it. It may be argued that discontent is a positive emotion. Even though it has negative connotations and makes one feel miserable, just think, if it wasn’t for discontent, most major explorations and therefore discoveries and inventions would not have taken place. There is a joke that the English were so fed up with their food that they sailed forth to other lands in search of better-tasting food J And discovered (and to the natives dismay, conquered) other lands.
So what is this discontent telling me? That there is something in my life / in my worldview that is in urgent need of changing. Bells are going off loud and clear announcing the need for urgent renovation. Something is stagnating and putrefying that needs to be set in flow once again. Discontent, in this case, seems to be the soul’s cry to be set loose from lack of growth and inaction.
Unfortunately, as I find out, it is not as easy as it sounds. Hearing the soul's call is one thing, but actually setting out to follow it is a different thing altogether. I guess, I'll have to live with this discontent until that happens. Churning and burning and giving me no rest ....
