Here is a wonderful selection of quotes from the wise on all dimensions of relationships.
"So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it." (J. Krishnamurti)
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." (Carl Jung) "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." (Ralph W. Emerson)
"Let me tell you something: If you ever let yourself feel good when people tell you that you're O.K., you are preparing yourself to feel bad when they tell you you're not good. As long as you live to fulfill other people's expectations, you better watch what you wear, how you comb your hair, whether your shoes are polished -- in short, whether you live up to every expectation of theirs. Do you call that sane?" (Anthony de Mello)
"The person on a quest for wisdom and spirituality always has a choice facing him: Is he to live in the way others live in order to please them or is he to live in the way his own standards call for? If he lets them pull him down he loses what has taken him many, many years to develop. Somewhere at some point he must take his stand, must plant his feet and refuse to budge any farther." (Dr. Paul Brunton)
"A man must consider what a rich realm he abdicates when he becomes a conformist." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
"If a foolish man is associated with a wise man, even all his life, the foolish man will understand truth as little as a spoon understands the taste of soup." (Buddha)
"There is one thing that, more than any other, throws people absolutely off their balance - the thought that you are dependent upon them. This is sure to produce an insolent and domineering manner towards you . . .they soon fancy that they can take liberties with you, and so try to transgress the laws of politeness. This is why there are so few people with whom you care to become more intimate, and why you should avoid familiarity with shallow people." (Schopenhauer)
"A singular strength of mind is therefore required to enable a man to live among others consistently with his own ideas and convictions, to be master of himself, and not fall into the habits or exhibit the same passions as those with whom he associates." (Spinoza)
A disciple confessed his bad habit of repeating gossip. Said the Master, "Repeating it wouldn't be so bad if you did not improve on it." (Anthony de Mello)
"It was once the authority of the priest that held us, and now it is the authority of the expert, the specialist. Have you not noticed how you treat a man with a title, a man of position, the powerful executive?" (J. Krishnamurti)
A Man interrupted one of the Buddha's lectures with a flood of abuse. Buddha waited until he had finished and then asked him, "If a man offered a gift to another but the gift was declined, to whom would the gift belong?"
"To the one who offered it," said the man. "Then," said the Buddha, "I decline to accept your abuse and request you to keep it for yourself." (Buddhism)
"Everything great and intelligent is in the minority." (Johann von Goethe)
"If everyone were nice and pleasant, I would have no opportunity for practical training; so I should be glad to have people to practice on." (G.I. Gurdjieff)
"As you acquire more and more spiritual light, a wonderful thing will happen by a definite spiritual law. What happens is people in love with darkness will move away from you. They want absolutely nothing to do with you. The torment of being unable to pull you back into the mud is too great for them." (Vernon Howard)
"So long as men praise you, you can only be sure that you are not yet on your own true path but on someone else's." (Friedrich Nietzsche)
"Take another example - a roomful of guests in full dress, being received with great ceremony. You could almost believe that this is a noble and distinguished company; but, as a matter of fact, it is compulsion, pain and boredom who are the real guests. For where many are invited, it is a rabble - even if they all wear stars. Really good society is everywhere of necessity very small. In brilliant festivals and noisy entertainments, there is always, at bottom a sense of emptiness prevalent. A false tone is there." (Schopenhauer)
"If anyone can show me, and prove to me, that I am wrong in thought or deed, I will gladly change. I seek the truth, which never yet hurt anybody. It is only persistence in self-delusion and ignorance which does harm." (Marcus Aurelius)
"Spirituality is awareness, awareness, awareness, awareness, awareness, awareness. When your mother got angry with you, she didn't say there was something wrong with her, she said there was something wrong with you; otherwise she wouldn't have been angry. Well, I made the great discovery that if you are angry, Mother, there's something wrong with you. So you'd better cope with your anger. Stay with it and cope with it. It's not mine. Whether there's something wrong with me or not, I'll examine that independently of your anger. I'm not going to be influenced by your anger. "
"Only a very aware person can refuse to pick up the guilt and anger, can say, 'You're having a tantrum. Too bad. I don't feel the slightest desire to rescue you anymore, and I refuse to feel guilty.'" (Anthony de Mello)
"Make not a close friend of a melancholy, sad person. He will be sure to increase your adversity and decrease your good fortune. He goes always heavily loaded, and you must bear half." (Francoise Fenelon)
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured and far away." (Henry David Thoreau)
"Condemning others makes a man oblivious to his own faults, which therefore flourish unrebuked. Many individuals hide their own serious flaws behind a critical spirit. . . They cannot stand the painful operation of being themselves corrected. Such persons expend their energy and intelligence on superficial activities and so have neither time nor vitality left to concentrate on essentials." (Paramahansa Yogananda)
"To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive." (Robert Louis Stevenson)
"Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." (Buddha)
